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sophisticated and sophomoric. batman and baseball. god and good music. kinks and kitties. classic cars. miscellaneous musings.

Maybe you got this question before... I'd like to know how big were the biggest and the smallest penis, that you've had. And how big was the one, which pleasured you the best?

@Anonymous

dirtyberd:

The best dick I ever had belonged to a guy who could get me off without even touching me. His actual dick had little to do with how much he turned me on and how often he got me off. 

Posted 2 hours ago With 33 notes

My ex texted me to congratulate me on graduating, which was a pleasant surprise. We talked about post grad life in our hometown, living with our parents again, and starting work. When I told him what I was doing, he made fun of me. “Wow, you didn’t get your MRS degree like you hoped so you’re gonna play Suzy Homemaker huh? Hahaha”
Fuck you. Fuck you very much.

Today is my first day of work as a full time nanny. I’m thrilled. As a communication studies and psychology graduate, this is the perfect direct application of both developmental psych, and interpersonal comm, which were my focuses. I get to play and snuggle with a 6 month old little boy during the day, and then spend time with him and his 3.5 y/o brother when he gets home from Montessori school in the afternoon. The family is kind and generous. They live in a gorgeous home, in a safe and affluent neighborhood. The pay is phenomenal. I’m gaining experience working with children and discovering if communication, psychology, or even education is the field I want to pursue in my masters. I’m using my degree, and building a foundation for higher ed. I found a job I’m passionate about, and am starting work just two weeks after graduation. I’m very lucky, but I am also a hard worker and believe I earned this opportunity.

He’s a clerical bitch some home builder’s office after he was rejected for OCS at Quantico. He got a degree in fucking Spanish and theraputic recreation. Way to put that to work, bro. Oh wait, actually, he gets some use out of it sine he’s also a part time assistant lacrosse coach for his alma mater private school, making less than minimum wage. A round of applause, please!

I’m making more than him as a woman fresh out of college, and yes, I am very glad I spent four years in school to become a nanny. He can kiss my ass.

This motherfucker expected me to marry him a few years ago, and either drop out to be a stay at home mom, or go to med school to appease his parent’s desire to have a doctor in the family, and be the breadwinner for him. All of that is so twisted. Thank God we broke up, I changed majors, and spent this summer finishing my degree. Thank God I learned to love myself, and someone who encourages MY goals for myself and accepts me as I am.

I’m irate.

Do not challenge my intellect or the integrity of my work.

And go fuck yourself.

Posted 12 hours ago With 2 notes

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fratboysegs:

my favorite tweet at the moment

fratboysegs:

my favorite tweet at the moment

Tagged: #gold #ferguson

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qrf-danger-close:

100% correct medical information on tumblr for once; also consider calling 911 if you don’t know how often the person has seizures and ESPECIALLY if the seizure has lasted 5 minutes or more (which is why the watch is

Tagged: #reference

“A secret to happiness is letting every situation be what it is instead of what you think it should be, and then making the best of it.”

TheDailyPositive.com (via thedailypozitive)

Posted 14 hours ago With 4,695 notes

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mlb:

Big Papi launches No. 400 in a Red Sox uniform.

mlb:

Big Papi launches No. 400 in a Red Sox uniform.

Tagged: #ft #dayummm

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videohall:

This is what happens when white guys listen to Indian music

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Tagged: #me as a mom

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“Young men need to be socialized in such a way that rape is as unthinkable to them as cannibalism.”

Mary Pipher, Clinical Psychologist and Author, Reviving Ophelia (via sunshine-machine)

Posted 14 hours ago With 125,633 notes